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Archive | Humour

Video: The Government Can

The hilarious Tim Hawkins’ take on the Candyman can.

(Hey everybody! Gather ’round! I’m here to give you anything you like! You want a car, money, mortages?! Whatever you like! You have come to the right place! Why? I’ll tell you why!)

Who can take your money? (Who can take your money?)
With a twinkle in their eye? (With a twinkle in their eye?)
Take it all away and
Give it to some other guy

[Chorus]
The Government (the Government)
The Government can! (The Government can!)

Who can tax the Sun rise? (Who can watch the Sun rise?)
Who can tax the trees? (Who can touch the trees?)
Let you run a business and
Collect up all the fees

[Chorus]

The Government can ’cause
They mix it up with lies and
Make it all taste good! (Make it all taste good!)

The Government takes
Everything we make
To pay for all of their “sollutions”
Healthcare, Climate Change, Pollution
(Throw away the Constitution)

Who can give a bailout? (Who can give a bailout?)
Tell us to behave? (Tell us to behave?)
Make the Founding Fathers
Roll over in their graves

[Chorus]

The Government takes
Everything we make
They’re power hungry
And malicious

The economics are fictitious
Soon we’ll have to eat our dishes
Mmm! Delicious!

Who can be a failure? (Who can be a failure?)
In so many ways? (In so many ways?)
Instead of getting fired, HEY!
We’ll give ourselves a raise!

[Chorus]

The Government can ’cause
He mix it up with lies and
Make it all taste good! (Make it all taste good!)
And your Uncle Sam can ’cause
He mixes it with lies and
Makes it all taste good! (Makes it all taste good!)

And I feel so good
Because the Government
Says I should! Oh!…

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